Chloe Cole '09

Acting like a typical senior in senior spring, I was in complete denial about being valedictorian until a dinner with my parents a week ago. They told me I should consider working harder on my speech since, as my father kindly told me, all of my classmates would remember what I said, word for word, for the rest of their lives. While my parents calmly continued their meals, I quietly suffered from a minor nervous breakdown. One glance at my face gave it away to my mom. Her response was to laugh hysterically.

Finally, I decided to begin work on my speech. I tried to focus on one goal. After much thought, I figured out what my goal was. It was lofty, but I thought with hard work I could achieve it: My goal was to make my mom laugh.

My mother has the most satisfying laugh. She actually makes very little noise. She stops breathing, turns very red in the face, and can’t speak though she tries endlessly to articulate what is so funny. She sounds something like this: (impression)

Thinking about my goal, I started to ponder why laughter, hearing someone laugh or laughing yourself, is so fulfilling and cathartic.

The Class of 2009 obviously enjoys the sensation as much as I do, because classmates repeatedly asked me to make my speech funny. I think my classmates recognized that a speech that did not include humor would not accurately reflect our class, would not do our class justice. After all, at the end of our freshman year, Mr. Fitz and Mrs. Brewer told our class what made us unique and memorable was our sense of humor and how it permeated every activity we did together.

Indicative of our appreciation for a good laugh, when I asked different individuals for memories of our class, everyone fed me hilarious ones. Several students told me to include this year’s Community Service Day when Gemma Soldati, wearing high-waisted pink shorts, serenaded our class with “Do you really want to hurt me?” Another group of students demanded I relay to the audience how unfailingly Connor Handy argued freshman year against day students’ right to use the waffle maker at breakfast. A few students wanted me to describe how, after our class realized we weren’t going to have senior skip day, Sarah Diamond wrote to the conference with ideas for new senior days we could have. Different ideas on the list were: Senior Unibrow Day, Senior Bring Your Child to School Day, Senior Bring Your Puppet to School Day, Senior Loin Cloth Day, Senior Leave the Country Day, Senior Switch Ethnicity/Gender Day, and the best: Senior Pick on a Freshman Day. And, of course, everyone wanted me to include any story involving George Haydock.

In general, Milton Academy is a community where humor is greatly valued. Ask any student about the two school newspapers, and he will most likely deliver a diatribe in which he focuses on which paper has the best humor back page. The Improv course’s show in the fall was so crowded, I believe the parents of students in the class had to sit on the laps of students to get a seat. And the biggest joke of all: The science department believed it could teach me the concept of scientific notation. I just want to give a big shout out to Mr. Gagnon for trying to make that one happen. Nice try. The Milton website even asks prospective students: “Do you like to laugh? Can you laugh at yourself?” If you can't laugh at yourself, I promise other people can do it for you at Milton. I mean that in the best way possible. I truly do.

One specific story I can share that still makes me laugh and best illustrates our class’s personality is Man Band. Man Band was born one weekday morning when Mr. Feldman challenged our class to provide impromptu entertainment. A group of boys took the stage. That group included Connor Handy, Wyatt Cmar, Joe Jonas (I mean, Mike Baldino), Mike Saltzman, Chris Sperandio and Kyle Mountain. Kyle left our class after sophomore year to, as it was rumored, join the NHL, a career path I too hope to follow after high school. These five boys—no, men—took the stage and jokingly threatened to perform some impromptu a cappella. The joke ended, however, when Chris Sperandio was able to accurately remember all the lyrics to “Afternoon Delight,” lyrics that include the following lines: Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite, and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Chris proceeded to perform a solo for us—to our delight.

The next week Man Band made its first performance for our class a cappella...with guitar by Wyatt Cmar. When I discussed Man Band with Ben N-H, he remarked the funniest thing about Man Band was the singing was “actually good.” The boys of Man Band represent how our grade can accomplish something great while keeping a sense of humor. We showed this same attitude with the hilarious but harmless pranks we as a class (but really Douglon Tse) accomplished this year. Following our final prank, Matthew Trammell told me he felt bad for the Class of 2010 for having to follow such a great act. It’s true. My advice, though, to the rising seniors is learn to laugh.

After all, being perpetually serious does not mean you are intelligent. The ability to take a step back and analyze yourself in a humorous light is valuable. It means you can look in retrospect at your actions and critique your rationality without bias. This ability assures you will make better decisions in the future. Humor can also be used to defend yourself from depression when you are tested. You can also use humor to communicate with others and grow closer to other individuals, as our class has over the past four years. It can be used to satirize injustices and express opinions and outrage when it is difficult to do so openly and bluntly. In the preface of “Black Comedy,” a collection of humorous plays, Thomas W. Jones II wrote, “To laugh is to diffuse the powerful rage burning beneath the soul.”

Susan Marianelli always says: “I would rather laugh than cry. If I cry I have to carry Kleenex and I have too much to carry already.” As someone less famous, Bill Cosby, once said, “You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even in poverty, you can survive it.” Cosby’s quotation brings up an interesting complexity with humor. I think what’s important to recognize about our class’s sense of humor was that it did not reflect a lack of depth or understanding. Instead, as shown well by our carefully planned pranks, our class perceived the serious qualities of life at Milton, like stress, homesickness, disappointment, responsibility, but we chose to focus on the brighter side of life and remembered to put energy into making each other laugh. Plus, studies have shown that if you don’t laugh, you’re not going to experience success. I’m just kidding. Not really. No, I am. But, seriously, in this economy, you are probably not going to get a job for a while, so laugh because what else can you do?

To the classes of 2010, 2011 and 2012, a sense of humor will help you through Milton. The time humor will heal your wounds is that night when you’re up at 2 a.m., studying for a quiz on cell structure or Megablunders and you suddenly realize how stressed you are about something so relatively trivial, and you start laughing hysterically. Let it happen. It’s a perfectly normal response. It shows you’re still healthy. Even my cool buddy William A. Ward once said, “A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.”

To the members of the Class of 2009, as we move on, we remember all the time we had together. And as our lives change, come whatever. We will still be friends forever. Yes, those were lyrics from Vitamin C’s classic song, “Graduation.” I thought they would be appropriate.

But seriously, being a part of the Class of 2009 taught me to embrace silliness, and I will never forget that, no matter how serious and grown up I think I have become.

Parents, relatives and friends, you probably don’t know and don’t want to know all the hilarious things your special student did at Milton, but know he helped to make the past four years upbeat and unforgettable for his classmates and for me. Thank you.

[Back to Graduation 2009]