20-20 Hindsight

“I think there is certainly work to be done in counseling students about making this decision when they’re being bombarded by the media and all the messaging that goes along with it. I think that the process—and the mistakes—can be your own.”

Paloma Herman ’02
Brown University ’06
Education

“My parents were were very clear about the fact that I would be the same person whether or not I got into my first choice school; they reminded me that I should not base my self-worth on someone else’s idea of whether I should be admitted to a school. I applied early to Brown during the first year that Brown made it a binding decision, and my comfort level with the process was in large part due to the support from my parents and the college office. The college office realizes that everyone needs different things from them. Rod Skinner helped to guide me but not push; he was there to help, and not to pressure or dissuade me.

“I was lucky to have the experience at Milton of getting excited about learning, and I found that the good things about Milton were the good things about Brown. All these unique, amazingly curious people were around me.

“At Milton I had a lot of friends in Robbins house, I played sports, I did the day-boarder exchange, and so I got an idea of what it was like to be a boarder; I was on campus 14 hours a day sometimes. Once I was in the dorm at Brown though, I was able to say, ‘Oh, so THIS is what they meant about those chats at 1 a.m.!’ I finally experienced the feeling of ‘Well, I should be doing work, but I would rather sit here and get to know my hall mate from California.’ Going to a good college is excellent, but there’s more to the education than the classroom.

“I originally found that I was interested in psychology, namely human development, so I took a course in psychology of education, which was in the education department at Brown. I was drawn toward that department: It was smaller and more intimate, like Milton.

“Now that I have my degree in education I have five or ten things that I’d like to do, and college counseling is one. I worked in the admissions office at Brown and read The Gatekeepers [by Jacques Steinberg]. The admission process from the college side was interesting, and that’s part of why I would like to work on the high school end of things. I remember a quote on the college folder that we received during our Class II weekend that said, ‘College is a match to be made, not a prize to be won.’ That’s true. I ultimately want that to be my working idea or principle.”


“My main intention and expectation of my college years was to leave with no regrets. Some people go into their college experience intent on a certain career choice or with the goal of getting a job that will make them a lot of money. My focus was much more on self-discovery.”

Darnell Nance ’02
Dartmouth College ’06
Sociology and Entrepreneurship

“I was looking for a school with good academics where I could also continue to play soccer. With sports, almost any school could be a possibility, so I was really looking for a place where I found a coach I could get along with and work well with. I made the most of my college visit days. I used all of them to meet the teams, meet the coaches, really get a feel for life at the school.

“Dartmouth had a gorgeous campus in the middle of ‘Nowhere,’ New Hampshire. It was just what I was looking for: close enough to home but far enough away that I had my own space. One thing that I really loved and appreciated about Milton was the community atmosphere. If you didn’t know someone, you definitely knew of them. That was similar at Dartmouth.

“I tried different disciplines—economics, English, philosophy. I got a taste for different things. The allure of sociology grabbed me after studying theorists such as Marx, Weber, Tocqueville and Smith. Reading their works, I became imbued with the desire to start my own business, so as not to distance myself from the fruits of my own labor. A friend of mine and I plan to launch our company, Ara Sports, this fall. My passion is in entrepreneurship. Dartmouth has a great entrepreneurship program; it’s a little-known aspect of the school.

“Overall, my college career was a great one. I found a real passion for what I was studying; our soccer team won the Ivy League championship three times and we went to the NCAA tournament twice; I joined a fraternity (Alpha Delta) and made some of my best friends there. I think I succeeded in accomplishing what I set out to do.

“One thing that surprised me, however, was that what really immersed me in my interest in school were the friends I made there. They helped me to build confidence in so many aspects of my life at Dartmouth. I learned more from the books that friends suggested, and from books I found myself, than from many of the course textbooks. I realized that I had the power to learn what I wanted to, and needed to. I had all of that in me.”


“When talking to friends from different colleges—hearing how well they were doing and how much they were enjoying it—I guess I was surprised at how everyone, including myself, over-estimated how important getting into that ‘one perfect school’ is. I realized that most people could be happy and do well at any number of colleges.”

James Ollen-Smith ’00
Brown University ’04
International Relations

“Cyrus Dugger and Martha Oatis—both Milton Class of ’98—turned me onto the AMIGOS program. I went during the summer before my Class I year. It really broadened my horizons and greatly affected my college search.

“AMIGOS involves a long preparation process—including fundraising…and training. I was in a small town in the Dominican Republic with two other volunteers. My town was poor and rural, near the border of Haiti, with no electricity and no one that spoke English. Each of us was placed with a different family. We were mainly building latrines and educating people about the importance of dental health. Our jobs were essentially to be aware of what was needed of us: We saw what people needed help with, and we did that. That experience made me more independent than I had ever been.

“Being in the Dominican Republic was my real experience ‘away.’ It helped me realize that I wanted to go to school a little closer to home. It also helped me not get too caught up in the whole frenzy of the college process. Having an experience so different from life at Milton really helped me stay grounded through the whole thing.

“I wanted community service, an urban environment, and more work in Spanish, so Brown was where I saw myself. The personal connection with people who go to or have gone to a school is by far the most convincing tool in the whole search. What helped me decide, ultimately, was talking with Brown grads; I really admired and identified with them.

“Looking back, I might actually have done better academically at a smaller school with small classes. At Brown the faculty didn’t reach out as much as they had at Milton. The classes were larger, and you had to take the initiative to get to know the faculty. That wasn’t my strong suit, so I didn’t develop close relationships with my professors until later in my years there.

“Being involved in intramural sports, an a cappella group, and community service rounded out my experience, but hands down, the friends I made were the best part of college.

“Most of the people I met didn’t have nearly the amount of help getting into college that I did. Many came from schools where one counselor worked with a couple hundred students. I am grateful for all the support Milton gave me, and I would reinforce for students that getting into that one school is not as critical as you think—you could be happy at lots of schools; and we get so much help and support at Milton that we should be grateful and not take that privilege for granted.”


“Making applications is not altogether a fun process, but I think you can take it on as a blessing, something that allows you the chance to think and the chance to write about yourself carefully. It’s almost self-indulgent. You get to think long and hard about what you really want and how you want to get it.”

Alda Balthrop-Lewis ’02
Stanford University ’06
Religious Studies and Italian

“I visited Stanford and it was a beautiful, great school. People would tell me that when you visit the place you’re meant to go, it just feels right. I felt that I could be happy there. I was very glad for that moment because I am sort of prone to making angst-filled decisions.

“Something that I didn’t realize then is the vast difference between a university and a liberal arts college. Maintaining wide interests is more difficult at a university; if you’re an undergraduate who wants to study biology, you’ll have a difficult time finding someone with the interest in teaching you when they are alternatively training doctors. Of course this kind of thing can be overcome if you’re diligent and courageous, but I was neither. It also took me a while to get used to California. There’s a social tendency to be laid-back, or to look laid-back—I’m not sure which—and people were less prone to demonstrate intellectual interests and risk not appearing to be laid-back.

“However, all the resources that a school like Stanford provides are amazing to have at your fingertips. The department I chose, and the community I developed through that, made me really happy there. I became a religious studies major with a minor in Italian. I was always spoiled by the small class size at Milton, and that drew me into the program I chose: fewer students and more faculty. Excellent faculty. That department really catered to what I was looking for.

“Four years away teaches you a great deal—about academics, life, and yourself. We change so much, our priorities change. I’ve been thinking about the application process recently (I just applied last year for a Marshall Scholarship), and although people groan at the process, you can make anything you have to do something you want to do. Luckily, I didn’t have to work hard at enjoying the process. It’s rewarding. You get to take a real look at yourself and craft something introspective that represents you. When you think about it, that’s an awesome experience.”

 

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