From Atop Ware Hall
Success Comes from Effort
Lenna Dower, Associate Dean Classes V & VI

Over the weekend, a few of us were able to attend a concert at Jordan Hall. It was mesmerizing. One of the soloists was a parent, Lynn Chang, and he and the other musicians gifted us with wonderful interpretations of Beethoven. I was in awe. Afterwards, as we chatted about the concert, I thought of the old story of the gushing patron who enthused to a soloist about how fortunate he was to have the God-given talent just displayed on stage. The musician responded, "It doesn’t hurt to practice six to eight hours a day, either." Success comes from effort.

This is something we sometimes forget. I am frequently in awe of some turn of phrase a young writer has chosen, of a miraculous catch in fourth football that seems to be part of one continuous movement, the generosity of a kind word when a friend is in need, or the results of an artistic idea. The students atop Ware are capable of amazing feats, but they are works in progress. They need to practice. We provide that practice every day. They have practice sessions for sports, rehearsals for music and drama, and encouragement to try new areas in art. We talk about relationships with each other in Peer Groups and Discussion Groups. And in the other disciplines we have homework. If you look at our homework assignments as practice sessions, to be evaluated by an encouraging coach at school, and supported by an encouraging coach at home, we can help the students learn that there is a long-term goal in this enterprise. They are building skills for future success. Today’s effort is important, but today’s product is not going to be a student’s best ever. We encourage progress, and while we demand thorough efforts from each and every student, or the dreaded "re-do" will be placed at the top of the paper, the stakes are not so high that a student will feel that s/he needs parents to do the work for them. So, how can a parent be a supporting coach? Here are some suggestions:

1. Have a quiet place where your student may study. Distractions are just that, distracting.

2. Ask your students about their assignments. A question of, "Have you finished your homework?" implies that it is a chore to tick off, like cleaning your room or taking out the trash. If you ask about the assignments you will actually hear a lot more from your early teen. And, yes, it is fine to let them vent about assignments they don’t like. After listening to a complaint, ask your child how s/he is going to approach the task. You will show your trust and support by letting them know that you know it can be done.

3. If you have had a conversation with your student about homework one night, it is a good idea to ask at a later time about the teacher’s response to the work. What did your child learn from his efforts? Are they doing more work of a similar nature? Keep the questions on the task at hand; not on how they are doing compared with other students. They are building skills, not competing, at this time.

4. At this age, students can really concentrate for about 10 minutes at a time. Do not expect more than this without a good stretch, wandering eyes, twitches, munchies, hugging the dog, or yelling at a sibling. The key is to get back on track quickly. Sometimes it helps to keep a 3x5 card on the desk. If students make a mark on the card every time there is a loss of concentration, they can train themselves to stay more focused. However, when the study area has been completely abandoned, parents should send a student back. It is fair to ask your child if he is producing his best efforts, when it seems that homework has been abandoned for more active fun and games.

5. Don’t give up. This is a long term job, and the student who has gotten used to a parent-coach in the homework department, is much more likely to talk about school work as they progress through the high school years.

When my daughter was interested in gymnastics, we looked at several gyms before choosing the one for her. We both knew that we were in the right gym when we walked in and saw the school motto written in eight foot letters on the wall: PRACTICE MAKES BETTER. At age 12, we were not looking for perfection. The opportunity that is needed, is the opportunity to practice.