Dear parents,

Suddenly school is around the corner, and we’re all gearing up for the start of something new. I look forward to welcoming back our returning students in a few weeks and hearing about summer work and adventures. I want to extend a special welcome to the parents of new students, for whom “gearing up for the start of something new” is a larger proposition. This letter is especially for you.

You’re about to start exciting chapters of your lives as the parents of Milton students. Some of you, whether you live near or far from Milton, have had older children here and have a sense for life at School, in and out of class. Of our new families, some of you live close by and many of you are from further afield and are taking the big step of trusting us with your child as a boarding student. All of you are wondering how your children will handle the new experiences coming at them in the classroom, on the playing fields, on the stage, in the dining hall, in the houses late at night. Especially for those of you whose oldest child is starting at Milton this year, the mix of pride and joy on the one hand and parental anxiety on the other is powerful.

Your child is going to have a great year at Milton. Your daughter will be stimulated and will grow in ways you don’t expect. The son at the Thanksgiving dinner table will be the same one you sent to us in September, but he’ll be different too, in many impressive ways. Students new to Milton experience important “firsts” in the beginning of the school year, all of which add up to increased self-reliance and, we hope, self-confidence. There will be bumps along the way—homesickness, anxiety about making friends, concerns about academic performance, disappointments in athletic tryouts or stage auditions—but those will be balanced by thrills of small successes, new friends, the warmth of the adults in their lives, and more opportunities than could have been imagined.

Twenty-five years later, I remember vividly the thrill of leaving my small, upstate New York high school for boarding school, and the challenge and excitement of learning to make my way with smart, fun, academically motivated classmates and demanding, inspiring teachers. My parents and my dorm parent and my teachers coached me through my insecurities about being new, and I learned to take ownership of my education.

You’ll get the homesick “nobody loves me” call, and it will upset you tremendously, but you won’t then see your son, having just unburdened himself to you on the phone, laughing freely with friends over pizza in the dorm common room. Stay calm, and call his advisor, who will be happy to give you a reality check. You’ll get the panicky “I’m stupid” message from a child whose English teacher tells her that her paper is good but needs improvement; you’ll have to help her understand she’s gone from being the top student in her class without working hard to reading and writing and learning at a higher level—that she can do the work, that there are people ready and willing to help her, and it’s normal for work to feel challenging, especially at first. It’s hard for teenagers to keep a reasonable perspective on things: what’s a big deal and what’s a passing irritation. Our job as adults—yours as parents and ours as teachers—is to respond to your children as hopefully and helpfully as we can, and to help them take big things seriously while keeping a sense of humor about the little things.

Here’s the important thing for you to know as parents: Your child will have the support and attention of gifted, intelligent, caring teachers and coaches and house parents. Your most important contact at the school, especially early on, will be your child’s advisor, who will serve as your link to the standards and patterns of Milton and your child’s guide as he or she begins at the Academy. You can expect to hear from the advisor relatively soon after the start of school and periodically after that. You should feel free to call or e-mail him as often as you have a question or concern. Whether or not she turns out to be your child’s best faculty friend, the advisor will know how to get you the information you want about Milton and will help you make sense of your child’s experience here.

Milton’s official opening orientation period is relatively short at the start of the school year. Because the disorientation of a new place lasts longer than a few days or weeks in September, we’ve designed extended orientation programs throughout the fall to help with your child’s transition and adjustment to Milton, and we’ll keep tabs on the inevitable ups and downs that come with starting something. We look forward to teaching your children and working with you to support them as they learn and grow here. Thank you for trusting us with their education and well being.

This is your school. Welcome.

[BACK TO CENTRE CONNECTION]